The Plan in Action

Warning: the following may be TMI for you, so proceed with caution.

So, I started Clomid last week. Don't ask me the chemistry of it all, all I know is that it's supposed to help me release more eggs, to ensure a greater chance of at least one getting fertilized. I started taking it Wednesday, and man did it kick my ass. I don't know what chemical reaction it produces in my body to make me release more eggs. I guess I should know, but I don't. The doctor just said,"Take these." so I took 'em.

I took them Wednesday night thinking whatever side effects it caused would happen while I slept. I woke up with a migraine, cramps and back pain and felt feverish all day Thursday. So I stayed home and literally stayed in bed all day. I went to work on Friday not feeling much better and honestly, I felt like my ovaries were just throbbing and there was some occasional stabbing pains. With every stab I thought, "Hmm....could that be an egg releasing?"

By the end of the weekend, I think my system had stabilized and I took my last pair of pills for this cycle on Sunday night. My ovulation testing starts tomorrow morning. If it's a (+) then Gareth reports for duty and I may be a little late for work. If it's (-) then he gets to sleep a little more.

One plus for Clomid, I've had a few compliments at work that I'm "glowing." I thought you only heard that AFTER you get pregnant. Or maybe they were just being nice about the feverish state I was in for the first few days.

Anyway....keeping my fingers crossed!

Might As Well Jump!

I believe I've been to more concerts since I met Gareth than I have in my entire lifetime. If you had told me 3 years ago that I'd be at two Van Halen concerts within a span of two years, I would've laughed in your face and called you crazy.

As it turns out, you would've been right. On Monday night , Dec. 3, I had my eardrums blasted by raucous bass guitar handling, insane drumming and psychotic guitar manipulations. This was the second Van Halen concert I'd been to, but the first one with David Lee Roth back as the frontman. Sammy Hagar was the voice at the last concert.

I have to say, I liked Sammy's singing way better. And honestly, all the Van Halen songs I like are when Sammy was with the band. David Lee Roth is the better showman, but goodness, I couldn't understand a word he sang, nor did I recognize many of the tunes until Eddie & Wolfgang piped up in the chorus.

But I expected this going in. What I looked forward to was seeing how Eddie's son fit in as the new man on bass. I didn't doubt his musical chops ~ look at his bloodline, but it was still gratifying to see him hold his own.

I wasn't thrilled with my seatmates to my right. Right off the bat, the dude next to me asked if I minded if he smoked. I told him, "It's not a matter of me minding ~ it's the usher's and security minding." He said, "I don't care what the ushers think. I just wanted to know if you would be okay if I smoked." I must've sounded really naive to him. What? You aren't going to follow the rules? Oh, dear! It wasn't until midway through the concert that I realized his idea of smoking greatly differed from mine. I thought he wanted to light up a cigarette, but what he was lighting looked awfully short and smelled real funny. Man. I really am naive.

Anyway, I didn't pay them much mind. I was focused on the big screen and watching Eddie Van Halen's fingers make magic on his guitar. It is amazing the sounds he coaxes out of his guitar. I'm not a hard rock fan, but I do love music and the art of making music, and Eddie Van Halen is just unreal. He actually played his guitar with a drumstick at one point and actually made his guitar sound like a flute with just his hands a little after that. Unbe-frickin-lievable.

But the one I stood up and clapped the loudest for was Alex Van Halen. Remember, I'm a wannabe drummer so drummers like Alex are gods in my wannabe world. You watch him with his arms flailing and swinging and blurring from speed, and think, "Holy shit."

Anyway, I just wanted to get this down for posterity before time got away from me.

Being Lazy

Too lazy to write something original...sooooo survey time!

1. If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say?
"Woohoo!"

2. Do you trust all of your friends?
For the most part....

3. Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
I would, but fortunately, I don't have to.

4. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
Absolutely.

5. Can you make a dollar in change right now?
With the change in my car probably or my desk. Or both.

6. Which one of your friends do you think would make the best doctor?
Depends on the specialty. But only my cousins who are nurses have the most interest in medicine.

7. Are you afraid of falling in love?
Used to be.

9. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times?
Sure.

10. Whats your most favorite scar?
It's not my favorite, but my only one. I pretend it's not there, but it's kinda hard to when it looks like a shark took a bite out of my calf.

11. When was the last time you flew in a plane?
2005...to and from our honeymoon.

12. What did the last text message you sent say?
"@ Mama's" when my l'il bro asked where my other li'l bro's going away party was going to be tonight.

13. What features do you find most attractive in the preferred sex?
Eyes. Smile.

14. Fill in the blank. I love: Gareth & my family & my best friends.

15. What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future? Get pregnant.

16. If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time who would you call?
I'd like to think that when I woke up from a coma, the people I'd want to call would already be by my bedside.

17. How many kids do you want to have?
One would be a blessing. Any more would just be icing on the cake.

18. Would you make a good parent?
I'd like to think so.

19. Where was your default picture taken?
Ocean Shores, one of my favorite places in the world.

20. Whats your middle name?
Salonga...

21. Honestly, whats on your mind right now?
I need to get out of bed and start baking for the party

22. If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?
Keep my grandfather in the U.S,...but that's just me being selfish.

23. Who was or will be the maid of honor/ best man in your wedding?
Yvonne, my sister-in-law & Aileen my cousin-in-law as well as my bffs were my matrons of honor.

24. What are you wearing right now?
Yoga pants and a sweatshirt. Sexy.

25. Righty or Lefty?
Righty

26. Best place to eat?
I love any restaurant with a view of the water... Salty's at Redondo & Alki, Johnny's Dock in downtown Tacoma & most of the restaurants along Ruston Way.

27. Favorite jeans?
Current fave is a pair of Eddie Bauers, but that's cuz the hems aren't frayed yet. Prior to them, my Old Navys...they only got softer the more I washed them. Then I got hit by a bus and the paramedics had to cut them off. Haven't bought another pair. Bad juju... S'why I try not to get too attached to denim...

28. Favorite animal?
My chihuahuas Mahal & Prada.

29. Favorite juice?
Harry & David's Pear Juice.

30. Have you had the chicken pox?
When I was 9 years old, I think...maybe a little earlier.

31. Have you had a sore throat? Sure. But I got smart this year and got my flu shot and pnuemonia shot & I've been pretty cold-free so far.

32. Ever had a bar fighT?
Nah... I don't roll like that.

33. Who knows you the best?
My confidantes: Gareth & my best girlfriends.

34. Shoe size?
Sometimes 9.5, sometimes 10.

35. Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?
Both, but mostly glasses because I don't produce enough tears.

36. Ever been in a fight with your pet?
No...they're kinda scared of me right now because I drag them to go to puppy obedience class.

37. Been to Mexico?
Nope....close to the border but not across.

38. Did you buy something today?
Haven't even gotten out of bed yet.

39. Did you get sick today?
No...but I was getting my butt kicked by Clomid the last two days. I think my system's getting used to them now.

40. Do you miss someone today?
A lot of someones. Namely my grandparents.

41. Did you get in a fight with someone today?
Nope...Gareth's been very nice about me being lazy today, so I'm in a great mood. :)

42. When is the last time you had a massage?
This past Tuesday. We have a lady come to the office every other Tuesday for chair massages.

43. Last person to lay in your bed?
Me and the hubby.

44. Last person to see you cry?
The hubby.

45. Who made you cry?
The hubby.

46. What was the last TV show you watched?
I caught up on the last episode of Heroes last night. Mandatory viewing because the DVR was at 50% capacity.

47. What are your plans for the weekend?
Bake some dessert then go to my li'l brother's going away party.

48. Who do you think will repost this?
::: shrug ::: who knows...

49. Who was the last person you hung out with?
The hubby. We had our weekly date last night. :)

50. If your significant other asked you to marry them TODAY what would you say?
I'd say, "Hello?...I'm already married to you."

The Plan

"You'll take these pills for five days, starting tomorrow. Then on the 12th through 17th day of your cycle..." he glances at the calendar, then pulls out a small credit card size calendar and starts counting. He scrawls numbers down on the sheet of paper in front of him. "December 5...10...." More scrawling.

Meanwhile I sit, watching, not sure what to think. I watched his pen move on the paper. The paper is a part of a file. A thin file in comparison to the thick ones stacked in four piles on his desk. Some were very thick, some were just slightly thick. Were the thinner ones new patients or ones who were successful on the first try? I counted the thicker ones and felt a tug of sympathy for their owners. We were all here for the same reason, but the goal wasn't to make the files thicker.

I sat alone. Gareth had stepped outside before my ultrasound. Said he had to make some calls, but I know the idea of the ultrasound had been a bit disconcerting for him, since it wasn't the type you normally think of when you hear the word ultrasound. Let's just say it wasn't an abdominal one. The ultrasound had taken all of 10 minutes, but he hadn't come back in yet. I don't know, I think he would've found the pictures of my full bladder and cystic ovaries interesting.

It was late. We'd been in the doctor's office since 3 p.m. and after sitting in the waiting room for 40 minutes, we met with Dr. C, an embryologoist who took down my medical history. Moon-faced, soft-spoken Chinese man with a hesitant but pleasant smile. He asked a few uncomfortable questions, but his gentle demeanor was encouraging. He told me that my case looked pretty straight-forward and it looked like all I needed was a little help ovulating.

It was supposed to be just a consultation meeting where Gareth and I would learn more about our options. We wanted to start family, you see, but since my miscarriage in 2005, I haven't been able to get pregnant. My plan had been "Kids by 35 or never." There was something wrong with that plan, apparently. I think the biggest problem was that it was my plan. There is a supreme being who controls our destinies having a good chuckle over that.

Dr. M came in almost a half-hour after Dr. C's interview was done. He's the obstetrician. Where Dr. C had shaken both our hands when he met us, Dr. M hurried in, made the hand-shaking gesture in the air before settling behind his desk. I found it amusing, as I did his other idiosyncracies like asking me how to pronounce my name, then proceeding to make accent marks on my file label, after dividing my name in 3 syllables with slash marks. Gareth and I glanced at each and shared a worried smile as he did this.

Where Dr. C was round, Dr. M was angular. Classically Italian, hawk nose, a hint of New York Italia in his speech, sharp eyes, complete with pomade styled hair. As he counseled us, you could just see his mind working, and with all the degrees on his wall, it was a very intelligent mind. He's one of those people who are so smart, their mouths can't keep up with their brains, and he has to pause every once in a while to catch up. In some people, it's would appear socially awkward and over-anxious. But when you MD & Ph. D. attached to your name, it's becomes a mark of high intelligence.

He's encouraged that since we've gotten pregnant before, and began writing out a prescription for me to induce my cycle. When I mention I just started a couple days ago, he rips up the prescription and says, "Let's get you in the exam room and do an ultrasound." When the nurse came to take me to the exam room, Gareth made his exit. Chicken.

As Dr. M continued to scrawl notes in my file, I glanced at the clock. 5:15 p.m. We aren't going to make to puppy training. Mahal & Prada will miss their 3rd class. Again. They missed the 3rd class when they first registered for obedience school, so I had rescheduled them to a different course, and here we were missing the same 3rd class.

"So here's the plan," Dr. M announces, taking me out of my reverie. "Take these pills for 5 days starting tomorrow. You're a big girl, so 100mg a day to start." Big girl, more milligrams. Got it.

"On Dec. 5, you take an ovulation test in the morning. This is my favorite brand." He holds up a Clear Blue Easy Ovulation Test kit like he's doing a commercial for it. "Do that through the 10th. When you get a positive sign, you need to have sex. With your husband." Aha, doctor's got a sense of humor. As if on cue, Gareth walks in.

"Got me something to eat - I didn't have anything for lunch," he explains sheepishly.

"Did you bring something for your wife?" Dr. M asks.

"Oh, yes, it's in the car," Gareth sounds almost defensive.

"Good! Good! It's almost dinner time, I'm sure she's hungry, too!" I notice the more Dr. M talks, the more he sounds like Al Pacino. He turns back to me and continues with "The Plan."

"Call me when you get a positive sign and tell me. I'll say, 'Genevieve, that's wonderful! Now what's the plan? Because I probably won't have your file in front of me, so you have to remind me what the plan is." He's writing "The Plan" on a yellow Post-It note as he talks. "You'll need to call me if you get all negative. But when you get a positive sign, have sex -"

"Woohoo!" mumbles Gareth.

"Then come in and see me and we'll do a post-coital exam to make sure things are moving along."

Post-coital exam? Eww. But okay. We do have a mission here. I take the yellow Post-It from Dr. M. It's almost unreal that a little 3x3 piece of paper could hold the key to the future for us. "So this the plan?"

"That's the plan."