You Know Your Filipino When

You Know You're Filipino When....

Your middle name is your mother's maiden name (until you get married. Then your maiden name becomes your middle name. Make sense?) Your parents call each other "Mommy" and "Daddy." Or "Mama" and "Papa" or derivatives of. There's also "Mahal" and "'Ling" (short for Darling...or their name is actually Ling Ling. You just never know). You have uncles and aunts named "Boy," "Girlie," or "Baby." You have relatives whose nicknames consist of repeated syllables like "Jun-Jun," "Ling-Ling," and "Mon-Mon." Mine by the way was "Geng-Geng." You call the parents of your friends and your own parents' friends "Tito" and "Tita." You have four or five names. (Gen, Geng, Em, Embib, Henebeba...::sigh:::...yup, I'm Filipino.) You greet your elders by touching their hands to your forehead. You always kiss your relatives on the cheek whenever you enter or leave the house. You follow your parents' house rules even if you are over 18. You live with your parents until and at times even after you're married. You decorate your dining room wall with a picture of the "Last Supper." (Now this one I can't claim. Because I haven't bought one or been gifted one. Yet.) You keep your furniture wrapped in plastic or covered with blankets. (Blankets. Guilty.) You have a Sto. Nino shrine in your living room. (If you're Catholic, if not, a bible will do.) You have a piano that no one plays. (Hee... at my parents' I was supposed to play it.) You keep a tabo in your bathroom. (My favorite was a purple plastic cup from Taco Del Mar. LoL...Gareth wanted to know why I was perverting his favorite cup.) You use Vicks Vapor rub as an insect repellant. (Ya know ~ I didn't know this. As my mom would say, "Does it works?") You eat with your hands. (Ya know it!) You eat more than three times a day. (Ya gotta fit in "merienda" somewhere. Like the hobbits. 2nd breakfast.) You think a meal is not a meal without rice. (That's why South Beach & Atkins will NEVER work for me). You think sandwiches are snacks, not meals. (See above.) Your dining table has a merry-go-round (lazy Susan) in the middle. (Left it with the first husband. As a half-Asian, he needed it more than Gareth. But putting a new one on the "To Buy" list). You bring baon to work everyday. (Baon = bag lunch, 'cept what we bring doesn't fit in a paper bag. True Filipinos go plastic. Stylish ones buy an actual bag.) Your pantry is never without Spam, Vienna sausage, corned beef, and sardines. (Sigh...sadly, my pantry is. That's why I love going to my parents & my grandmother's ~ there's always good stuff there. Maybe I'll set up a secret pantry that Gareth won't ever know about). You love to eat daing or tuyo. (Hey, Johanna: What did the bangus say when he fell in the vinegar? "I'm da-ing!!!") You prop up one knee while eating. (One of my favorite people in the world was famous for this. May Auntie Zenaida R.I.P.) You eat your meals with patis, toyo, suka, banana catsup, or bagoong. (Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. And yes. At my grandmother's) Your tablecloths are stained with toyo circles. (Soy sauce circles? I thought it was coffee...) You love sticky desserts and salty snacks. (Notice how almost ALL our desserts are made with some form of rice? We're so awesome). You eat fried Spam and hot dogs with rice. (Mama makes the best Spam in the world ~ dredged in sugar then fried. My goodness. I need to go buy Spam.) You eat mangoes with rice--with great GUSTO! (Has to be hilaw (unripened)mango...with bagoong, tomatoes & green onions. Yum!) You love "dirty" ice cream. (I honestly don't know what that means. Anyone?) You love to eat, yet often manage to stay slim. (Ha!) You put hot dogs in your spaghetti. (Hee!) Everything you eat is sauted in garlic, onion, and tomatoes. (That's the base of most Filipino food). You order a "soft drink" instead of soda. (I remember Auntie Gay asking Christian when he was 6 or 7 if he wanted a "soft drink." He said, "What's that?" LoL) You hang a rosary on your car's rear view mirror. (If you're Catholic...well heck, even if you're not.) You get together with family at a cemetery on All Saint's Day to eat, drink, and tell stories by your loved ones' graves. (So I've been told. Our family plot in the Philippines is in the far corner of the cemetery. Imagine climbing and hopping from tomb to tomb with a cooler and bags of food? And a rice cooker?) You play cards or mahjong and drink beer at funeral wakes. (Or 31). You think Christmas season begins in October and ends in January. (That's cause there's no Thanksgiving in the Philippines.) Your second piece of luggage is a balikbayan box. (Tied with rope so it has a handle.) You've mastered the art of packing a suitcase to double capacity. (As long as it closes, it fits). You collect items from airlines, hotels, and restaurants as "souvenirs." (Ahem.) You feel obligated to give pasalubong (souvenires/gifts) to all your friends and relatives each time you return from a trip. (Yee-ahh...) You use paper foot outlines when buying shoes for friends and relatives. (LoL. Never, personally. But I believe it's been done.) You're a fashion victim. (Maybe when I was fresh of the boat. Weren't we all?) You can convey 30 messages with your facial expression. (It's a gift). You hold your palms together in front of you and say "excuse, excuse" when you pass in between people or in front of the TV. (It's only polite, don't you think?) You ask for the bill at a restaurant by making a rectangle in the air. (That's why we're good at charades). You cover your mouth when you laugh. (Again, it's only polite, don't you think?) You respond to a "Hoy!" or a "Pssst!" in a crowd. You'll answer "Malapit lang!" ("Just nearby")--no matter the distance--when asked how far away a place is located. Goldilocks is more than a fairy tale character to you. (True, but Red Ribbon is fair competition). You refer to power interruptions as "brownouts." (Because they happen during the day in the P.I. right?) You love to use the following acronyms: CR for comfort room, DI for dance instructor, DOM for dirty old man, TNT for tago nang tago, KJ for kill joy, KSP for kulang sa pansin, OA for over-acting, TL for true love, BF for boyfriend and GF for girlfriend. (Uh..no. But okay.) You say "rubber shoes" instead of sneakers, "ball pen" instead of pen, "stockings" instead of pantyhose, "pampers" instead of diapers, "ref" or "prijider" instead of refrigerator, "Colgate" instead of toothpaste, "canteen" instead of cafeteria, and "open" or "close" instead of turn on or turn off (as in the lights). You use an umbrella for shade on hot summer days. (In WA? We don't even use umbrella when it rains.) You like everything imported or "state-side." You love ballroom dancing, bowling, pusoy, mah jong, billiards, and karaoke. (Maybe, okay, change that to 31, some times, not really, and...guilty). You have a relative who is a nurse. (Uhh...make that relativeS..) When you're in a restaurant, you wipe your plate and utensils before using them. (Ya know, I didn't until I saw my cousins do it in the Philippines). You can squeeze 15 passengers into your five seater car without a second thought. (Kinda like luggage. As long as it closes, we fit). You wave a pom-pom on a stick around the food to keep the flies away. (Are we ingenious or what?) You always ring a doorbell twice, assuming that the first ring was not heard. (3 times if you're family). You let the phone ring twice before answering, lest you appear overly eager. (Secret: If you want me to answer at home, let it ring twice. Hang up. Then call again.) You use a rock to scrub yourself in the bath or shower. (Ya know, I thought my aunt was weird for having one but American's have caught on with the pumice stone. Biters!) You're proud to be Filipino - and you pass these jokes on to all your Filipino friends! (Here ya go!) Last but not least, you know you're a Filipino if you enjoy this video: Becoming one of my favorite websites: Happyslip.com. Check out "Mixed Nuts" ~ for all my ka-sins & kababayan, this girl is hella funny. So funny, she made me use "hella."

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